Endowment Fun

A doff of the cap — and a snap of the strap — to screen siren Sophia Loren's lady lumps, born on this day September 20, 1934. Her kittenish caboodles would make their first, angora-sweatered appearance some twelve years later at the Holy Mother of Perpetual Repression 8th Grade Grab-Ass Dance. In 1953, her now fully-formed headlights were set to high beam, sending brassiere makers worldwide into a frenzy. Indeed, the first underwire brassiere —a.k.a., the over-the-shoulder-boulder-houlder — along with the popular 18-hour, 18-hook, lift-separate-and-photograph bra were both designed specifically for Ms. Loren’s ample-which-is-to-say-undulating sexterior. She and her naughty bits soon began showing up in cheesy American movies alongside machismo meatheads like John Wayne or the original sawed-off eye-talian, Francesca Sinatra. I’m happy to say that the curvaceous starlet thwarted the advances of both bad actors and settled down with argyle-socked Polo™ enthusiast Ralph Loren, whose surname she ingeniously replaced as her own. Bravissimo, Citizen Sophia™! Happy day to you and the twins!