Preying Mantis

Random Memorandum™ to a Church Elder: Damn you, Mantis! I am on to you, sir! You may impress the church-going faithful, Citizen Prayermonger, but you do not pass muster with Yours Truly, Dooley®. Your prayerful faux pose, weekly service attendance and missionary work notwithstanding, methinks there's something dispiriting about your worshipful ways. Granted, you appear to be properly supplicant — down on bended, spiked posterior leg, with grasping forelegs pointed towards the heavens and triangular head and large compound eyes bowed in “prayer” — however, if you are, indeed, entreating a higher, six-limbed power, "pray tell" where are your rosary beads?! And what’s this business about females biting off the male’s head during the mating dance to ensure a more vigorous delivery of the spermatazoon? What biblical story endorses such godlessness?! 'Tis my belief that you are not “praying," but are rather “preying” — under natural camouflage and concealment — on the science and faith communities who have held you in their regard and allowed your appearances to deceive them. You have hoodwinked the departments of etymology and theology for the last time! Rest assured, Mantis, that your days in the churches, temples and tee-pees on terra firma are numbered — which is to say, numbering less than your natural lifespan of 10 to 12 months in the wild, with some species in captivity surviving up to 14 months.