If Memory Swerves™, ‘twas on this day in history
(July 8, 1991) that the first bi-racial union was legally recognized in the
United States. Which is remarkable considering that anyone can bloody well marry nowadays — men, women, black, white and red-skinned natives of Washington. Even more remarkable is the half-fact that one-half of this
historic Afrasian couple was foul-mouthed comedian and junkyard kingpin Sanford
“Redd” Foxx. He and his blushing bride KaHo Cho — now KaHo Foxx — were married at
the Little Church of the West®, in a quintessential Las Vegas ceremony that
included a blind organist, two midget witnesses and a drunk minister. Also
attending were Redd’s leisure-suited son Lamont, mustachioed sister-in-law
Esther, best buddy Grady, some shiftless hustler named Rollo and KaHo’s caterer
parents. This was the fourth marriage for Redd, who was intent on keeping his
vow for fear of reprisal from KaHo’s family, who were so disapproving of him
having his nasty way with their little China doll, that they didn’t bring
spring rolls to the reception, as promised. People said it wouldn’t last — they
always do — but they were bloody wrong! Today Redd and KaHo are married and
leading a life of quiet privilege far from the spotlight’s glare. So far, in
fact, that I can’t bloody find where they’re holed up or how many Asiacan children Redd has sired and what kind of father he is and whether he sold his
interest in the junk business or is hitting the stages at the old folks homes
to bring home the thick-cut bacon. None of which is my concern, as long as the
Foxxy couple are still making one another laugh and bringing each other to the occasional climax. We wish many more faithful years to the happy couple before
a heart attack — the Big One — reunites Redd with his late, beloved Elizabeth, who
left us too soon years ago.
