I Have a Dreamsicle®

As I Understand™, 'twas on this day in history — August 28, 1995 — that light-skinned — which is not to say white-skinned — Senatorial candidate from the mean streets of Honolulu, Barry "Brock" Obama commemorated the 52nd Anniversary of Martin "Lutheran" King's famous "I Have A Dream" speech with an impassioned, if curious, “I Have A Dreamsicle®” effort, delivered outside the doors of an island petrol station mini mart, “I have a Dreamsicle," the bright and articulating young politico began, as he peeled back the wrapping on the orange sherbet-coated ice cream delicacy and plunged it into his piehole. "It's creamy, refreshing, I like it and I'd like to see all of us enjoying them," he said, waving the treat 'round. "I also have a dream," he continued to a handful of grass-skirted, gas-pumping onlookers. "Not a wet dream involving a consenting college co-ed or the first black Miss America Vanessa Williams or anything like that; though I will admit to occasional arousal — rigidity, sans emission — in said dream. Understand. I have a dream that one day middle class families will not be judged by the contents of the glove compartments in their high-mileage sedans, but rather the content of their character, if not the content of their children's Influencer blogs. I have a dream that freedom will ring in every state, city, village and Hamburger Hamlet™ 'round the country. There's an especially good one on Rush Street in Chicago with naugahyde leather booths. I have a dream — a different dream than Dr. King's, more like one from Gary Wright, the Dream Weaver fellow — he was British, nothing wrong with that — but my dream is rooted in the American dream that involves truths being self evident and so on and so forth." 'Twas at this point that the store manager politely shooed the speaker away. "Mahalo aka ua lohe makou i lawa, ʻo Senatoa," he said. The speechifier took it in stride, gobbling the last of his Popsicle®/ice cream bar hybrid, hopping 'board his Schwinn® branded bicycle and shoving off.