Empty Nest Eggs & Honey Baked Ham® Off The Bone
Random Memorandum™ to the producers of the 1990’s situational comedy “Empty Nest”: While other riotous offerings of the era enjoy success in syndication, yours has been relegated to the dustbin. Have you stopped to ask yourselves why? The reason appears obvious to Yours Truly Dooley™, as the term “Empty Nest” is one twinged with sadness, putting you at odds with the very people you hope to attract, the now grown-up audience who watched the show in its heyday — today’s hovering, helicoptering parents. As their little darlings have flown the bird coop and commenced to hoisting Solo® brand cups at universities dotting third tier towns 'round the globe, the thought of empty nesting isn’t so funny anymore. The once-fulfilled mum and dad hang on for dear life, seething side-by-side in their tattered recliners, macraméing talentlessly, farting willfully and quietly plotting one another's demise. Methinks 'tis time to bring a little nighttime cheer to these empty, pestering nesters with a re-airing of the old "Empty Nest" broadcasts, albeit with a new name. Slap a brighter title on the proceedings and Mulligan, McNicholas, Overalls, Isuzu and What's-Her-Butt will be reborn anew on Notflix™! Herewith, a few titular notions from our station house team: "Empty Nest Eggs & Honeybaked® Ham Off The Bone,” “Scrapbooking, Woodworking And Other Crafty, Oddball Ways to Occupy Your Time,” “Dad Just Friended An Old Flame” and “Mom’s Getting Awfully Familiar With The Widower Down The Block.” Haha! Cue the laughter track! P.S. to the feathered and fetching Missus McNicholas: You were bipolar — and bisexual — before it was fashionable. Bravo and Brilliantine™, Bi-Golly!
Random Memorandum™ to the producers of the 1990’s situational comedy “Empty Nest”: While other riotous offerings of the era enjoy success in syndication, yours has been relegated to the dustbin. Have you stopped to ask yourselves why? The reason appears obvious to Yours Truly Dooley™, as the term “Empty Nest” is one twinged with sadness, putting you at odds with the very people you hope to attract, the now grown-up audience who watched the show in its heyday — today’s hovering, helicoptering parents. As their little darlings have flown the bird coop and commenced to hoisting Solo® brand cups at universities dotting third tier towns 'round the globe, the thought of empty nesting isn’t so funny anymore. The once-fulfilled mum and dad hang on for dear life, seething side-by-side in their tattered recliners, macraméing talentlessly, farting willfully and quietly plotting one another's demise. Methinks 'tis time to bring a little nighttime cheer to these empty, pestering nesters with a re-airing of the old "Empty Nest" broadcasts, albeit with a new name. Slap a brighter title on the proceedings and Mulligan, McNicholas, Overalls, Isuzu and What's-Her-Butt will be reborn anew on Notflix™! Herewith, a few titular notions from our station house team: "Empty Nest Eggs & Honeybaked® Ham Off The Bone,” “Scrapbooking, Woodworking And Other Crafty, Oddball Ways to Occupy Your Time,” “Dad Just Friended An Old Flame” and “Mom’s Getting Awfully Familiar With The Widower Down The Block.” Haha! Cue the laughter track! P.S. to the feathered and fetching Missus McNicholas: You were bipolar — and bisexual — before it was fashionable. Bravo and Brilliantine™, Bi-Golly!