Celebrating a Deathday (March 14, 2014): Humorist-turned-authorist David Brenner penned his last sorta funny joke on this day, and then called it a day. A
leisure-suited long-nose from the cream cheese capital of America, Brenner was
a frequent guest and, later, guest host on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny
Carson, a wolf in sheep’s clothing if there ever was one. Carson, a
chain-smoking, plaid-suited womanizer, treated Mr. Brenner like his own son,
until his own son rolled his motorcar down a bloody embankment and died, after
which Carson treated Brenner like someone else’s son whom he couldn’t stand.
When Mr. Carson packed up his Viceroys® and his liquor cabinet and stumbled off
into the sunset, never to be heard from again — excepting the barrage of late
night commercials for the mountainous 800-VHS collection of his ancient
television programme — Mr. Brenner disappeared from the broadcast landscape,
turning up in shite hole comedy clubs, alongside next generation arse-wipes like
Dennis Miller. He later turned to book writing, penning in quick succession,
the harmless, if unspectacular, “I Think There’s a Terrorist in my Soup,” “I
Think There’s a Hole in the Exhaust Pipe,” and “I Believe There’s a Stain in my
Undershorts.” All said and done — or possibly sad and dumb — Brenner was a likeable, capable funnyman who, alas, succumbed to pancreatic cancer at the age of 78. Happy Anni-hearse-ary™ to David Brenner, pride of Philadelphia, Freedom,
PA, home of Steak-umms® thin-sliced, steak-like meats.
