Fine And Dandy
Today we take a celebratory pull on the moonshine jug in honour of the quintessential southern rock front man, James “Jim Dandy” Mangrum of the band Black Oak Arkansas. Born and baptized on this here day, March 11, 1948, Master Dandy was raised a proper — gun-totin’, kin-bangin’ — Southern Baptist in the town of — I’ll be bloody damned — Black Oak, Arkansas, who left high school early, but not empty-handed, as he absconded with the entirety of the marching band’s instrumentation and nearly ended up in a prison cell as a result. Alas, the rock ‘n roll gods took mercy on the southern-fried shite-for-brains and he received a suspended sentence, after which Dandy skeedadled, taking his scrawny, dope-tokin’ arse to the Hell’s Kitchen of Dixie — N’Awlins — where we imagine he spent his time warshing dishes, bustin’ cherries and makin’ bail, before music again came a-callin’, this time in the form of a vintage warshboard he commenced to scratch and thwap away at it whilst a-howlin' at the moon. ‘Twas a god-awful racket that was destined for the radio airwaves! Master Dandy arrived shirtless in mid-'70’s Lost Angeles, where he and his bandmates officially came to the public’s attention, thanks to man-crushing music impresario Don Kirschner. Ol' Jim Dandy's trademarked yowlin' and sweaty, spandexed gyratin' were a hit on television's Rock Concert®, where his repertoire of drunken, uncouth stunts included simulated coitus with his beloved laundering board. Dandy and his ditchweed-bogartin’ bandmates released a heap o’ tasty platters — “High as Hell on the Highway to Hell,” “Ridin’ Miss Daisy,” “Shootout at the Waffle House,” and “Lawd Have Mercy, My Balls Are On Fire!” — their big-bellied, halter-topped fans eatin’ it up like barbecued gizzard po’ boys. Dandy would become the unlikely blond-haired prototype for a legion of crotchless chaps-wearing look-alikes (including younger brother, David Lee “Sloth” Mangrum). Adored by trailer trash men and women alike — I’ll confess to having a soft spot for the platinum-maned geezer myself — he is 74 today. Go, Jim Dandy, Go!
