Miss March

I Have It On Good Authority™ — which is to say, a dog-eared, 1967 Farmer's Almanac® — that March will come in like a lion and go out like a lamb. Then again, who's to say the tea leaf readers weren't misinformed and March doesn't come in like a Welsh pony and go out like a malodorous pug? Maybe this year March will come in standing on two bloody feet — Welcome Wagon Lady — and go out on the flat of her back — an obliging southern belle. Or maybe March will come in like a longshoreman and go out like a second hand bookseller. Or in like a Christian Mingler® and out like a conspiracy theorist with a full diaper. Or a seer-suckered country clubber — in — and a perpetually stewed sister-in-law (pictured) — out. In and out. Whatever the case, March is bloody well comin' in. One hopes that it wipes its muddied shoes as it crosses the threshold.