Eddie, Monster

Happy Anni-hearse-ary™ to human lampshade fabricator, awe natural furniture re-upholsterer and butcher/hobbyist Ed Gein. A native of the Northwoods of Milwaukee or Minnesota, Gein was a good boy who never gave his God-fearin' momma no trouble, ‘cept for sassin’ back when his Cream o' Wheat were cold and she commenced to give him an arse whuppin' that hurt her more than him. She read to her boy daily from the goodly books—the KIng Jiminy Bible and the Betsy Crocker cookbook—where he learned to make a stew of sorts—and taught him right from wrong, the perils o' drinkin’ and the evils o' masturbatin’. Her efforts paid off! Ostracized as a teen, Gein grew to be a whacked off/out loner who heard voices—likely those of his dead brother he’s thought to have killed—and who taught hisself to “dress,” which is to say "skin," unsuspecting townies and who took to diggin' up what would become a kind of textile fabric from the local cemetery. The inspiration for such memorable characters as Norman Bates, Floyd R. Turbo and Ernest T. Bass, along with popcorn movie matinees like “Psycho Killer,” “Silencing the Lamb” and “The Texarkana Chainsaw Massacre,” Gein was a depraved original. Though long the shame of the dairy state, his life was oddly celebrated in "Eddie Gein: The Musical," which played in 2010 on the Broadway of Wisconsin, which is to say, Menasha. He died on this day, July 26, 1984, at the age of 77, suckin' on a Slo-Poke® in some bloody nuthouse.