Contrary to popular opinion, Yours Truly Constable Dooley™ did not come rocketing out of the birthing canal — sticking the landing, feet first — as a uniformed Internet patrolman. Indeed, there were many positions along the way, seventy If Memory Swerves®: Stable Boy, Toilet Tissue Restocker, Boot Polisher, Soda Jerky Boy, Balls and Shaft Washer (golf caddy), Bible Salesman (Gideon's), Bill Posterer, Night Soilman (emptier of chamber pots), Rubblerer (sorter of stones), Broomstick Bass Guitarist (in the non-invading UK band The Pollywoggs), Travelling Clothier, Steak Knife Salesman, Lamplighter, Ankle Beater, Imitation Marble Quarrier, Notary Republican, Needle Threader, Buttonholer, Loon Carver, Corksoaker, Fishmonger, Nat Thatcher (look it up), Merkin fluffer (don’t bother), Jorman, Yeoman, Ploughman, Yodeling Goatherd, Sickleman (reaper on a remote farm in Lincolnshire where Missus Buckley), Stevedore, Cereal Bowler (makerer of bowls for sugary sweetened cereal), Butcher, Baker, Candelabra Stick Maker, Knoller (toller of bells), Cajoller (seller of shells), Luthier (string tightenerer), Legerdemainist (Assistant to Marshall Brodein, professional magician), Handyman, Hankyman, JackRabbit Wranglerer (pictured), Miller, Tiller, Pubhouse Refiller, Auctioneer, Chanteuse, Interpretive Dancer, Minstrel in the Gallery, Funambulist (for an afternoon, moneys owed), Spirit Conjurerer, Rich Man, Poor Man, BeggarMan (but never a bloody Thief), Raconteur (long before Citizen LongHair Jack White), Punk Rock Band Manager (The Banana Splits®), Buckle Tongue Maker (of trouser belt fame), Tin Basher, Letter Carrier, Pond Ferrier, Keyliner, Lavatory Attendant, Vinyl Album Cover Design Drawerer, Crayola® Crayon Caricaturist, Foot Soldier, Assistant Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable, Chief Constable, Concert Hall Policeman, Albert Gore Memorial Information Superhighway Patrolman (i.e. Internet Patrolman), Stationhouse Brand Steward, Dustbin Dumper-Outer and, lastly but not leastly, Social Media Influencer Extraordinary. Right!Thursday, July 30
All work, no play
Contrary to popular opinion, Yours Truly Constable Dooley™ did not come rocketing out of the birthing canal — sticking the landing, feet first — as a uniformed Internet patrolman. Indeed, there were many positions along the way, seventy If Memory Swerves®: Stable Boy, Toilet Tissue Restocker, Boot Polisher, Soda Jerky Boy, Balls and Shaft Washer (golf caddy), Bible Salesman (Gideon's), Bill Posterer, Night Soilman (emptier of chamber pots), Rubblerer (sorter of stones), Broomstick Bass Guitarist (in the non-invading UK band The Pollywoggs), Travelling Clothier, Steak Knife Salesman, Lamplighter, Ankle Beater, Imitation Marble Quarrier, Notary Republican, Needle Threader, Buttonholer, Loon Carver, Corksoaker, Fishmonger, Nat Thatcher (look it up), Merkin fluffer (don’t bother), Jorman, Yeoman, Ploughman, Yodeling Goatherd, Sickleman (reaper on a remote farm in Lincolnshire where Missus Buckley), Stevedore, Cereal Bowler (makerer of bowls for sugary sweetened cereal), Butcher, Baker, Candelabra Stick Maker, Knoller (toller of bells), Cajoller (seller of shells), Luthier (string tightenerer), Legerdemainist (Assistant to Marshall Brodein, professional magician), Handyman, Hankyman, JackRabbit Wranglerer (pictured), Miller, Tiller, Pubhouse Refiller, Auctioneer, Chanteuse, Interpretive Dancer, Minstrel in the Gallery, Funambulist (for an afternoon, moneys owed), Spirit Conjurerer, Rich Man, Poor Man, BeggarMan (but never a bloody Thief), Raconteur (long before Citizen LongHair Jack White), Punk Rock Band Manager (The Banana Splits®), Buckle Tongue Maker (of trouser belt fame), Tin Basher, Letter Carrier, Pond Ferrier, Keyliner, Lavatory Attendant, Vinyl Album Cover Design Drawerer, Crayola® Crayon Caricaturist, Foot Soldier, Assistant Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable, Chief Constable, Concert Hall Policeman, Albert Gore Memorial Information Superhighway Patrolman (i.e. Internet Patrolman), Stationhouse Brand Steward, Dustbin Dumper-Outer and, lastly but not leastly, Social Media Influencer Extraordinary. Right!