Holy Ascension, Batman!
Celebrating a Deathday™: 'Twas with heavy heart and patrolman's helmet in hand that we bid adieu to billionaire industrialist Bruce Wayne, who took leave on this day, June 9, 2017 at the sage of 88. Wayne's costumed crime-fighting prowess and change artistry long impressed us as unequaled and, indeed, unearthly, and with good reason, 'twould appear, as reports coming into the station house newsbleed are saying that otherworldly Batman® Wayne was secretly a member of the esteemed Holy Trilogy™, a revelation of biblical proportions on the order of discovering that Texas oilman Bobby Ewing wasn’t dead, he was only taking a long shower, soaping his undercarriage while a nation held its breath and wife Victoria Principal embarked on a career in fitness and cosmetics. One wonders what this means for those under the employ of the late Citizen Deity™. Was Master Dick Grayson bloody John the Baptist? Butler Albert Pennyworth, Joseph the Carpenter? Were Commissioner Gordon and Chief Inspector Miles O’Hara Wise Men? Frank Gorshin, Pontius Pilate? And the lot of the Rogue’s Gallery — the Joker, the Penguin, Arthur “Mr. Freeze” Schvartzen•gger — were they the Pharisees? We beseech thee, Son of Man, or rather Batman, to wholly reveal these mysteries to your humble servants in all thy Heavenly glory, and trust you have settled into your permanent quarters upstairs, naturally. Happy Anni-hearse-ary™, old friend. Rest in peace.
Celebrating a Deathday™: 'Twas with heavy heart and patrolman's helmet in hand that we bid adieu to billionaire industrialist Bruce Wayne, who took leave on this day, June 9, 2017 at the sage of 88. Wayne's costumed crime-fighting prowess and change artistry long impressed us as unequaled and, indeed, unearthly, and with good reason, 'twould appear, as reports coming into the station house newsbleed are saying that otherworldly Batman® Wayne was secretly a member of the esteemed Holy Trilogy™, a revelation of biblical proportions on the order of discovering that Texas oilman Bobby Ewing wasn’t dead, he was only taking a long shower, soaping his undercarriage while a nation held its breath and wife Victoria Principal embarked on a career in fitness and cosmetics. One wonders what this means for those under the employ of the late Citizen Deity™. Was Master Dick Grayson bloody John the Baptist? Butler Albert Pennyworth, Joseph the Carpenter? Were Commissioner Gordon and Chief Inspector Miles O’Hara Wise Men? Frank Gorshin, Pontius Pilate? And the lot of the Rogue’s Gallery — the Joker, the Penguin, Arthur “Mr. Freeze” Schvartzen•gger — were they the Pharisees? We beseech thee, Son of Man, or rather Batman, to wholly reveal these mysteries to your humble servants in all thy Heavenly glory, and trust you have settled into your permanent quarters upstairs, naturally. Happy Anni-hearse-ary™, old friend. Rest in peace.