Beaver, Cleavered
Celebrating a Deathday™: The original "beaver cleaver," Ward Cleaver of Mayfield, USA took his final curtain call on May 16, 1982. He was 73. Born the son of a farmer in Shaker Heights — Iowa? Tennessee? — Cleaver was a theology student, fraternity lad and aspiring theater actor at the University of Chattanooga when he met Barbara June Billingsley, pom-pom squadron leader for the Chattanooga “Choo-Choos.” The two would marry and settle in Mayfield — Ohio? Kentucky? — with their two boys, Wally and Gerald “Beaver” Cleaver. As it happened, the family made the acquaintance of television funnyman Allen Funt whilst he was filming “Candid Camera” at a local donut shop. Ward and Barbara June consented to appear in the ground-breaking reality TV show, “Leave it to Beaver,” after Funt was taken in by their wholesome, humorous, interactions, and assured them that nothing would strengthen the family bond like having cameras installed in every room in the home. Unlike other fathers of the day who drank, smoke and cursed their rotten, no-account kids who'd never amount to anything — we’re talking to you, Fred Rutherford — the adored and pompadoured Ward Cleaver was a gentle man who delighted in "fudge packing" with his boys and was only occasionally “hard on the beaver,” as Barbara June would scold him from across the room in her detached marital twin bed. Cleaver catapulted his portrayal of a real-life suburban breadwinner into fictional roles as the necktie-wearing dad in popular shows such as “Father Knows Reasonably Well,” “Make Room for Daddy's Alcholic Brother," "The Donna Reed Show," starring Hope Lange, and "My Three Sons And Their Deranged Uncle William Demarest." Sadly, Cleaver's passing prevented his appearance with the family, alongside Mayfield scoundrels Eddie Haskell and Lumpy "Rutherford" Mondello in the beloved reunion offering, “Return to Mayfield (After A Brief Pit Stop In Mayberry)". Happy Anni-hearse-ary™, Ward Cleaver. Not to worry, old boy. Who among us eager gents hasn’t been a little rough on the beaver now and again?
