Sibling Ribaldry
As I Understand It™, today is International Siblings Day and the station house sends an overdue shoutout to our favourite brothers from another mother, the Flying Karamazov Brothers®! Blood relations of the long-winded Russian inkspiller Fyodor Dostoevsky or possibly cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin, these elite, long-haired, goateed, juggling jokesters from the United Soviet States of Mother Russia have been performing internationally since the 1970s, having become skilled at the art of throwing objects back and forth at each other's heads at a young age, starting with salt shakers around the dining room table as their father slammed vodka shots and mother stewed the fish heads. Born in St. Petersburg, they would later emigrate to St. Petersburg, where they were met by a welcoming horde of Floridians with flaming pick axes. The brothers turned things around in short order, however, grabbing the pick axes and commencing to juggle them to the great delight of the sense-challenged southerners. Their mastery of juggling all manner of household items would soon grow along with their curlicued pony trails, as no item was out of their reach, be it meat cleaver, bread box, bowling pin, tiki torch, Channellock® brand pliers, Fiskar® scissors, Scotch® tape dispensers, fireplace pokers, candle holders, garden shovels, hammers, ukuleles, skillets, screwdrivers, champagne bottles, Rowenta® steam irons and Xavier Hollander® brand vibrating sexual aids. After conquering theater circuits 'round the globe, they enjoyed a turn in the Hollywood spotlight, appearing 'longside famed cunning linguist Michael Douglas in cheese puff movies like The Jewel of the Nile, Romancing the Stone and Shellacking the Shillelagh, and taking a turn in the American sitcomedy The Seinfeld Chronicles. The Karamazovs have opened for centuries old musical acts such as The Who and The Grateful Dead and are said to be open to considering offers to return to the sheds this summer, if only someone would be kind enough to ask. Long live the Flying Karamazov Brothers, namely, the eldest Fyodor, and in succession, Dmitri, Zossima, Alexei, Pavel, Nikita, Maximov, Ivan, Aloyosha, Misha, Rakitin, Vanka, Kuzma, Smerdyakov and, briefly, comedian/cousin Yakoff Smirnoff®.
