Scream Police

Oh, for the love of Peter and Gordon, calm yourself, young citizen! Had I known the facility was inhabited, I wouldn’t have stepped from the Jacuzzi® branded bubble tub flaunting my naked exposure. Crikey, you act as though you’ve never had a stranger of some years stand before you hand-toweling his soaking wet behind and dangling extremities. ‘Tis an innocent mistake, darlin', so let's dial down the shrieking. Look on the bright side: Some day you’ll be boastin' to other, flat-iron-haired birds that you caught a public official out of uniform, in the Full Monty as it 'twere, and it ‘twasn’t all bad. Now be a dear and pass me the talcum on your way out the door. And keep your eyes up here where I can see them, luv.