If Memory Swerves™, 'twas on this day in history — August 24, 79 A.D. — that Mount Vesuvius erupted in southern Italy, burying alive some 2,000 men, women and children under fiery, molten ash and devastating the city of Pompeii. On a brighter note, America's Pompeii Ristorante™ chain is bringing back — by popular demand! — “Cousin Enrico’s price-a-fixed dining a-la-carte,” which includes soup — minestrona or pasta fagiola — AND salada, one glass of housa wine or soda, your choice of entrée — try the Baked Vesuvius® — desserto and authentico expresso for one low price of $19.95 on weekdays before 6 p.m. and all day on Sunday. Pompeii Ristorante has locations across the states, all featuring authentico approximations of real Renaissance art and cheeseball sculptures, spacious rooms for large groups of large-arse Americanos, and intimate booth seating for romancing couples drinking cheap chianti and furtively stroking one another under cover of checkered tablecloth. All pastas are prepared fresh by hand — to the best of your knowledge — and a children’s menu is available to ensure the youngsters are on the proper road to Type 2 diabetes in adulthood. Why not remember those helpless families who perished in such horrific fashion — scorched beyond all recognition in that long lost Roman city — by treating your loved ones to an evening of "gen-u-wine eye-talian" dining at a Pompeii Ristorante near you?
