Insanity Flea

As a uniformed police official patrolling the serpentine digital pathways of the Albert Gore  Memorial Misinformation Superhighway™, I'm exposed to horrors that I wouldn't invite upon my worst enemies. From the loathsome scat-fetish pornography of “2 Girls, 1 Cup” to the spectacle of incapacitated German balladeer David Hasselhoff eating a half-pound mushroom swiss cheeseburger on his mudroom floor, the visual atrocities that man inflicts upon his fellow man give this Internet policeman pause. However, I've yet to witness anything quite like what was on display in an Oslo courtroom on this week in history (August 18 - 24, 2012). The sight of the gutless child slaughterer Anders Behring Breivik giving his strong-armed fascist salute was beyond the bloody pale. If there is justice in the afterlife, the shame of Norway will spend eternity with his arms sawed off at the shoulders. But ‘twas another wretched image that burns in my minds' eye: That of the odious Breivik grinning in the face of his sentencing. As the families of his 77 innocent victims suffered in anguish, he smiled with satisfaction. Memorandum to the gutless assassin: The description of you as a “blonde-haired, blue-eyed Scandanavian” is an insult to blonde-haired, blue-eyed Scandanavians. Methinks the families of your victims and the citizens of Norway would all be better served if the news chatterers found a more fitting shorthand to describe you. To wit: Odious, extremist turd Anders Behring Breivik. Friendless, dickless disgrace Anders Behring Breivik. Cowardly lioness Anders Behring Breivik. Oily, masturbating mouth-breather Anders Behring Breivk. Preening, pasty-faced pussball Anders Behring Breivik. Lily-livered and unloveable Anders Behring Breivik. The sight of this scourge on humanity turns this patrolman’s stumoch. Suddenly, the thought of visiting a David Hasselhoff video performance doesn't seem so horrifying.