Feeling The Burn

I’m delighted to report that pathetic, sociopathic spree killer Michael Robert Ryan is still burning in Hell® 30+ years to the day — August 19, 1987 — he assassinated sixteen innocent men, women and children in his native Hungerford, England. The cowardly, 27-year-old gun enthusiast and bloody shame to all Michaels, Roberts and Ryans gave no explanation for his actions, which is well and fine as we’d rather this gutless, friendless douchebagalo killed himself — which he did — than listen to him prattle on about how ‘twas God's will or the Queen’s fault or how the school lads laughed at him or the lasses wouldn’t dance with him or how his daddy left him or his pud didn’t work when he pulled it or how no one bought him an ale down at the pub because he was a raving arsehole, born of arseholes and ‘twas fitting that he shot his arsehole mum and took his own worthless life before the police had an opportunity to do it themselves. Happy Anni-hearse-ary™ to Michael Robert Ryan, still burning in a hellish eternity of his own deserving! In a related story, Brazilian heavy metal band Burning in Hell™(pictured here) is heading back into the studio with a new bass player (Ederson Prado), a new producer (Swedish grindcore legend Fredrik Nordström) and a new commitment to dispensing with melody altogether, in favor of an onslaught of slamming, shredding, pummeling, thrusting and grunting. All to devilishly — hellaciously! — good effect. Bravo, Citizen Hellions™!