Remembering $9.11

A doff of the hairnet to Carl Buddig and his sandwich crews at Subway® for bravely recognizing the fallen on this sad day in history, and to the fearless blokes at the Bloomin' Onion™ news service for having the wherewithwhatever to run this marvelous advert. What better way to whet the noon-hour whistle and chase away those Bin Laden blues than with this delightful $9.11 promotion?! Towering twin sarnies stacked with razor-thin old cuts and thick-cut condom-mints like green peppers, pitted olives and bacon flakes — which everyone knows go great on bologna — along with a dollop of gooey spittle in the mayo from the man in the plasticine gloves if you speak to him poorly. (Don't say you didn't have it coming to you!) What’s more, the legendary zipped bag meat purveyor Master Buddig will add a mile-high Coca Cola® for .99 cents and “sweeten” the deal even further with a free Famous Amos 'n Andy™ dark chocolate chunk cookie. Brilliantine! Let the bloody cowards at Jiminy John’s and PotBellied act as though this day never happened. There’s a line forming at the nearest Subway and I'm "flying on in," lickety splickety!