If Memory Swerves™, ‘twas on this day in history — September 9, 1930 — that the Bumstead family of Scott Joplin, Missouri — the Kardashians of their day, minus the nipple slips, coochie waxes and bi-racial baby showers — made their first appearance in broadsheets across the pond. Family patriarch Dagwood — onetime heir to the Bumstead Locomotive® fortune until he was disowned for marrying a certain blonde flapper — mum Blondie (née Boopadoop), son Alexander (aka, Baby Dumpling), daughter Cookie and dog Daisy delighted readers with their tales of mundanity and sandwich-making in middle class America. Though their illustrated reality blog was titled “Blondie" — and enjoyed a brief, late 1950s run on the telly with platinum maned songbird Deborah Harry (above) in the title role — Dagwood often took center stage, and when he wasn't hurtlin' himself down the staircase or mowin' down the postman enroute to the carpool or jawin' with door-to-door salesmen or eyeballin' daughter Cookie’s suitors or goin' toe-to-toe with construction company employer Julius Caesar “JC” Dithers, the slick-haired everyman spent his idle hours crafting the trademark lunchtime favorite that carried his name. “Enjoy Every Sandwich®,” ole' Dag would exclaim before diving headlong into an olive-topped assemblage of Impossible® plant-based meats, dairy-free nut cheeses and organically harvested lettuce and tomatoes. Today, the multi-tiered Dagwood® is as popular as ever, faithfully recreated by the artisanal foodsmiths at UberMeats® and DoorDash'd off to dope blowers too overcome with hunger to get off the bloody sofa.Wednesday, September 9
Meat the Bumsteads
If Memory Swerves™, ‘twas on this day in history — September 9, 1930 — that the Bumstead family of Scott Joplin, Missouri — the Kardashians of their day, minus the nipple slips, coochie waxes and bi-racial baby showers — made their first appearance in broadsheets across the pond. Family patriarch Dagwood — onetime heir to the Bumstead Locomotive® fortune until he was disowned for marrying a certain blonde flapper — mum Blondie (née Boopadoop), son Alexander (aka, Baby Dumpling), daughter Cookie and dog Daisy delighted readers with their tales of mundanity and sandwich-making in middle class America. Though their illustrated reality blog was titled “Blondie" — and enjoyed a brief, late 1950s run on the telly with platinum maned songbird Deborah Harry (above) in the title role — Dagwood often took center stage, and when he wasn't hurtlin' himself down the staircase or mowin' down the postman enroute to the carpool or jawin' with door-to-door salesmen or eyeballin' daughter Cookie’s suitors or goin' toe-to-toe with construction company employer Julius Caesar “JC” Dithers, the slick-haired everyman spent his idle hours crafting the trademark lunchtime favorite that carried his name. “Enjoy Every Sandwich®,” ole' Dag would exclaim before diving headlong into an olive-topped assemblage of Impossible® plant-based meats, dairy-free nut cheeses and organically harvested lettuce and tomatoes. Today, the multi-tiered Dagwood® is as popular as ever, faithfully recreated by the artisanal foodsmiths at UberMeats® and DoorDash'd off to dope blowers too overcome with hunger to get off the bloody sofa.