Roger That: Remembering Major Roger Healey

The station house sends its condolences to the family of U.S. Space Force® Major Roger Healey, who passed away at the age of 91. A decorated astro-nautician, Healey was also something of a stumblebum and an endearing one at that. He came of age at a time when the world was properly respective of uniformed officials, and as the girl crazy sidekick of Major J.R. “Anthony” Nelson, Healey played the uniform card to the Hilti®, finding himself in curvaceous company every time his capsule touched down from one of his space age missions. Of course, the one woman he wanted but couldn’t have — and no, it wasn't Dr. Alfred Bellows' blonde missus, though her affections for the good Major were evident — 'twas the multi-scarved Arabian princess with the exposed tummy, the girl they called Jeannie With The Light Browne Hair Extensions™, who, alas, only had eyes for the masterful Ewing Oil® scion Major Nelson. Nelson and Jeannie would eventually marry, leaving Healey so glum chummed, he took leave of his government post, moving to the godforsaken Second Tier City™ of Chicago, changing his bloody name and rank, to that of a civilian aviation capacity, i.e., commercial pilot Howard Borden, condominium neighbor of Dr. Robert Taft-Hartley and his charming, barren missus, Suzanne Pleasurette™. Today, we remember with fondness Citizen Airmen™ Major Roger Healey, off to that great space station in the sky, with laughter tracking cued, September 4, 2018.