Open For Toileting Business

I have it on good authority — which is to say, I’ve taken the virtual tours of today's “open-concept offices" and I’ve read the postings praising the freedom of it all and I’m happy to report — that the next wall-less wave is ‘round the bloody bend! Yes, the Citizen Deconstructionists responsible for dispensing with traditional "offices" — and the nagging privacy that went along with them — now have their laser-corrected sights set on breaking down even more walls and doors. The number crunchers and soul crushers on the executive floorboards will not rest until the spaces are as wide open as the mouths of the worker bees stuffing their faces at their work stations all the livelong day! And why not? Studies are showing — or someone is claiming — that opening the lines of communication amongst the tattooed, razor-eschewed rank and file is taking collaboration to new heights — clear up to the exposed ventilation systems and duct work shining down on the table tops fashioned from reclaimed wood products! It all takes me back to parochial cafeterias and military latrines, where everyone’s an equal and nothing says collaboration like, “Pass me a toilet tissue square, Sergeant Major!"