Another year has passed and we’re onto the next, same as ever ‘twas. This year, at the behest of our station house web administrator Sheffield, Yours Truly Dooley is endeavoring to make an official recording of the daily trials and tribulations facing our e-servitude. An electronic diary of sorts, a “diatribery” if you will, and why wouldn’t you? In this, our first installation, we celebrate the indomitable will of humankind in offering an icy salute to the Polar Bears who braved the bone-chilling, ballsack-shrivelling waters of the Atlantic on January 1. Let lesser mortals toast the New Year morn with sugary mimosas, soft scrambled eggs and jellied Pop Tarts! Let them announce their modest resolutions from the comforts of their tidy homefronts! At the same time, let it be known there are others more mighty than they—brothers and sisters who are seizing this day—indeed, decade!— with a dynamic derring-do and a zest for conquest! The triumphant stances depicted in the Polaroid Instagrammatic snapshots on our newsbleed tell a more revealing story, one of giants descending upon our shores in skin-tight, tank-topped Lycra! Sinewy, soaking wet giants who mock the pajama’d mortals in our midst with raised fists and clenched balls to the frigid squall! Bravo & Brilliantine, one-pieced, swimsuited Capitans Courageous!
