A Couple of Real Wisenheimers
If Memory Swerves, ‘twas on this day in history, December 10, 1961, that Fred Wisenheimer made an honest woman out of Karola Ruth Siegel, a diminutive, if rising, star in the field of sexual psychology. At 4 ft. 10 inches tall, the pint-sized groom towered over his 3 ft. 8 in. intended, but as “Dr. Ruth” herself might have said, “We’re all the same height lying down.” To which Yours Truly Dooley would have replied, “Bollocks!” All the times I’ve laid beside Mother Johns, I’ve never once imagined we’re the same height, nor are we getting any closer to being so, as the whole of my ankle and foot extend out precipitously over the footboard and hers fit snuggly within the confines of the marital bed. Which begs the question: Why are old birds like Dr. Ruth or Dear Abbie or bloody Jeffrey Zaslow always saying shite like, “We’re all the same height lying down” or "There's a peg for every hole" or “Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”? Crikey, have you ever tried waltzing on your backside? They’ll toss you from the bloody dance hall. In any event, before this runaway train of thought rolls off the track, today we honor a couple of real Wisenheimers who raised two children and remained happily married until Fred’s passing in 1997. They were no Master & Johnsons — Fred was a telecom engineer, whatever they do, climb bloody telecom poles, one supposes — but the name Wisenheimer was thrust into the pubis — err, pantheon — nonetheless, and the good Dr. Ruth did break down doors — bedroom doors all — in the study of human sexuality, and her standing, if you will, remains as pronounced as a 4-hour, if not 4-foot, erection. Kosher Mazel® brand toffee in memoriam to the scrappy couple!
If Memory Swerves, ‘twas on this day in history, December 10, 1961, that Fred Wisenheimer made an honest woman out of Karola Ruth Siegel, a diminutive, if rising, star in the field of sexual psychology. At 4 ft. 10 inches tall, the pint-sized groom towered over his 3 ft. 8 in. intended, but as “Dr. Ruth” herself might have said, “We’re all the same height lying down.” To which Yours Truly Dooley would have replied, “Bollocks!” All the times I’ve laid beside Mother Johns, I’ve never once imagined we’re the same height, nor are we getting any closer to being so, as the whole of my ankle and foot extend out precipitously over the footboard and hers fit snuggly within the confines of the marital bed. Which begs the question: Why are old birds like Dr. Ruth or Dear Abbie or bloody Jeffrey Zaslow always saying shite like, “We’re all the same height lying down” or "There's a peg for every hole" or “Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”? Crikey, have you ever tried waltzing on your backside? They’ll toss you from the bloody dance hall. In any event, before this runaway train of thought rolls off the track, today we honor a couple of real Wisenheimers who raised two children and remained happily married until Fred’s passing in 1997. They were no Master & Johnsons — Fred was a telecom engineer, whatever they do, climb bloody telecom poles, one supposes — but the name Wisenheimer was thrust into the pubis — err, pantheon — nonetheless, and the good Dr. Ruth did break down doors — bedroom doors all — in the study of human sexuality, and her standing, if you will, remains as pronounced as a 4-hour, if not 4-foot, erection. Kosher Mazel® brand toffee in memoriam to the scrappy couple!