A compendium of oddball observation, misinformation, shout-outs, put-downs and pointless harangues from Constable Dooley, uniformed—if altogether uninformed—chronicler of history, society & celebrity
Thursday, December 2
Just Another Cyborg Monday
Today is something called Cyborg — or possibly Cyber — Monday™ and you know what that means, ostensibly, but do you know that a Spanish-raised, Northern Irish-bred buggerer by the name of Neil Harbisson is the first person to be legally recognized as a cyborg? We have it on some authority that — by definition — a cyborg, is an organism with enhanced abilities due to the integration of an artificial component, in Harbisson's case, a flexed antenna thingy (pictured) that sprouts from within his occipital bone. Harbisson was born with an extreme form of colour blindness called Achromatopsia, a condition that caused his art assignments to be washed with grey and for him to receive less than stellar reports from his instructors. With no cure on the foreseeable, grey-scaled horizon, the art and science protege began designing a "cyber antennae" to extend color perception whilst a student at the University of Darlington. In 2004, doctors permanently implanted the antennae in Harbisson's noggin', where it allows him to feel and "hear" colours as audible vibrations inside his head, whilst providing an Internet connection with free, pirated access to streaming video apps such as Notflix™, Hulu Hoop and Crackle Barrel™. Today, Harbisson is a cyber artist and trans-species activist who contributes to the public awareness of cybers or cyborgs, artificial senses and human evolution and, indeed, is responsible for the declaration of December 2nd as "Cyborg Monday." So as you and the legion of keyboard fingerbangerers surf the Arnold "Al" Gore Memorial Misinformation Superhighway™ today with freewheeling cyber abandon, take a moment to remember the bowl-haircutted-antenna-headed Neil Harbisson for making this day possible.