Oh, for the love of Peter, Paul & Mary Travers, dry your eyes, Winchester!
I cannot have a beloved grandchild dousing — nor douching — him or herself with that infernal
Axe® Body Spray whilst under my roof! Kindly direct yourself to the medicine cabinet in the station house latrine and avail yourself of granddad's icy blue Aqua Vulva® aftershave — available online at The Art of Manliness™ — and let's right this egregious wrong! Uncap the distinctive — shatterproven — container, pour generously into your wee palms and slap your cheeks thusly. Now sprinkle some of that trademarked menthol goodness about your underarms, a hint at the snap of your BVDs
and go about your day with confidence, my dearest young relation!
I cannot have a beloved grandchild dousing — nor douching — him or herself with that infernal
Axe® Body Spray whilst under my roof! Kindly direct yourself to the medicine cabinet in the station house latrine and avail yourself of granddad's icy blue Aqua Vulva® aftershave — available online at The Art of Manliness™ — and let's right this egregious wrong! Uncap the distinctive — shatterproven — container, pour generously into your wee palms and slap your cheeks thusly. Now sprinkle some of that trademarked menthol goodness about your underarms, a hint at the snap of your BVDs
and go about your day with confidence, my dearest young relation!
