Halt! Hold it right there, Mr. Mobile-App-Dollar-Menu-Side-Order! I don’t know who in blue blazes put you up to this — or what you hope to gain by it — but I will not suffer a one-finger finger-chip salute, no matter how delicious you are with your sweet, olive oil pre-coat and blanketing of sea salt! Your brazen display of disrespect gives me a sour stumoch. If I wasn’t so familiar with the strict penalties for littering, I’d have the entirety of your order flung ‘cross the motorway to be flattened by a parade of radials. P.S. Pre-sliced potatoes aren't nearly as mouth-watering as hand-cut, so unkindly shove that middle fry finger up your arsehole, Monsieur F*ck-Me-I'm-From-France.
