A Rose By Another Name

If Memory Swerves™, 'twas 30 years ago on this day — April 28 or 29, 1990 — that Sweet Child O' '50's rock 'n roll legend Don or Phil Everly, Erin Everly (pictured right, or possibly left) married scrawny hair metalian Axel F. Rose (pictured left, or possibly right) of the band Hollywood Rose — later, Guns ‘N Roses, later Velvet Revolver, later Slash’s Snakepit, later Duff McKagan’s Loaded, later Izzy Stradlin’ and the Ju Ju Hounds, later the Chinese Democracy or possibly Guns N' Roses 2.0 — in a civil ceremony in the land of lifetime unions, Las Vegas USA — aka, Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. The bride wore black spandex, which was no reflection on the status of her virginity — status denied — but rather the right choice for someone of her skin tone, especially alongside her tattooed and shirtless intended. A former Wilhelmina Model who’s legs-up-to-here and firm backside appeared in many print adverts for saucy jeanmaker Jordache®, Erin, the apple of Don or Phil’s eye, would soon become the tomato cherry of Rose’s evil eye. According to Rose, Erin had a smile that seemed to remind him of childhood memories where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky. When he saw her face, she took him away to that special place, but if he stayed too long, he feared breaking down and crying. (Bloody hell, Axel.) Rose went on to say that Erin had eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain, but he hated to look into those eyes to see an ounce of pain. Her hair reminded him of a warm, safe place where as a child he’d hide and pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass him by, until Pa come home drunk from the factory again and kicked his lazy Hoosier arse out the door to get a job. Alas, ‘twas “Bye Bye Love” a mere nine months into their blessed union as Axel F.’s attention turned to Victoria’s Secretive™ model Stephanie Seymour or possibly actress Pamela Anderson or maybe Heather Locklear, both of whom were married to Tommy Lee or possibly Richie Sambora. Today, Erin Everly has two or three sweet childs of her own, all likely unaware that mum was featured in the music video for “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” which has been removed from YouTube because the account associated with that video has been terminated.