Well, as I live and breathe dangerous levels of airborne toxicity! If it isn’t adored and pompadoured Steven Patrick Morrissey! In the fleshy! Bravo, Citizen Shirtless! Hey Mozzer, ole' man, did you know that 'twas many years prior on this day — April 3, 1994 — that your ode to Britain's storied Vauxhall Motors ascended to the top of the UK charts? Number One with an Internet Patrolman's bullet! Brilliantine! If memory swerves, "Vauxhall & I" was one of those rock operettas released on the "phonograph" format — a plasticine platter designed for "oblong play" on a "turning table" of sorts — and featured a host of vehicular-inspired ditties like “The More You Ignore Me, The More Recklessly I Drive,” “Used To Be A Sweet Boy Before He Got His License“ and “My Heart is Full, But The Tank is Perilously Close to Empty.” Critics called it “somber and emotional,” but to my ears was every bit as cheerfully sing-songy as such Smiths classics as “Horse Meat Is Murder,” “Heaven Knows, Mister Allison, I’m Miserable Now” and “Stop Me, Stop Me (Before I Strangle You With My Bare Hands)." Say, squire, why not bring your hunky, if chunky, low-rise panted self ‘round the station house soon for a wedge of celebratory crumb cake? Regale us with tales of how a frumpy geezer can still bring fawning lads and lassies to their knees with a twirl of his microphone cord and a slap on his stumoch.Friday, April 3
Wooly, Mammoth
Well, as I live and breathe dangerous levels of airborne toxicity! If it isn’t adored and pompadoured Steven Patrick Morrissey! In the fleshy! Bravo, Citizen Shirtless! Hey Mozzer, ole' man, did you know that 'twas many years prior on this day — April 3, 1994 — that your ode to Britain's storied Vauxhall Motors ascended to the top of the UK charts? Number One with an Internet Patrolman's bullet! Brilliantine! If memory swerves, "Vauxhall & I" was one of those rock operettas released on the "phonograph" format — a plasticine platter designed for "oblong play" on a "turning table" of sorts — and featured a host of vehicular-inspired ditties like “The More You Ignore Me, The More Recklessly I Drive,” “Used To Be A Sweet Boy Before He Got His License“ and “My Heart is Full, But The Tank is Perilously Close to Empty.” Critics called it “somber and emotional,” but to my ears was every bit as cheerfully sing-songy as such Smiths classics as “Horse Meat Is Murder,” “Heaven Knows, Mister Allison, I’m Miserable Now” and “Stop Me, Stop Me (Before I Strangle You With My Bare Hands)." Say, squire, why not bring your hunky, if chunky, low-rise panted self ‘round the station house soon for a wedge of celebratory crumb cake? Regale us with tales of how a frumpy geezer can still bring fawning lads and lassies to their knees with a twirl of his microphone cord and a slap on his stumoch.