Shameful!

Today in “Ask an Internet Patrolman™,” a query has rolled in on the station house wire from none other than avowed film memorabilia collector and retired Archbishop of Capetown, South Africa, Desmond Mpilo Tutu, who writes, “Your Eminence Dooley: Was the retribution paid the prostitutes “shameful,” as posited in the grindhouse classic, ‘Olga’s House of Shame’?” Brilliant question, your Bishopship! Indeed, the forced submission, ill-fitting leatherette costumes and poor quality Dollar Store® restraints all had a bloody shameful element to it. But methinks rightfully so! The ladies in Madame Olga's employ were brazenly servicing johns on the side and cutting her out of the take. Who did they think was keeping the lights on in the abandoned warehouse brothel? Who was paying to run the unvented space heaters in the all-but-barren bedrooms? Who was it that hung the pest control strips, toweled off the sheets and Febrezed® the pillowcases once monthly? Bloody Olga, that's who! While I — as you, my churchly brutha from another mutha — am troubled by the sinfulness of the profession — the dirty shenanigans and gravity-defying couplings — I'm guided by the universal truth that lets the punishment fit the crime. These bird were biting the hand that feeds. Shame. On. Them.