The Olson Sister: Mad Woman of the Mad Men Era

Random Memorandum™ to Madison Avenue copy wrangler Margaret “Peggy” Olson of advert agents Sterling, Cooper, Draper and What's-His-Name: We've been following your career trials and errors on the youTube reality TV streams with great interest, Citizen Ad Crafter. As an esteemed alumnus of Miss Deaver's secretarial school, you are living proof that a taskmistress of modest beauty and above-average talentry can make it in the Mad Man’s world! (Watch your back, Mary Wells-Rich Greene!) With the exception of your one-week marriage to bespectacled oddity Fred "Armistead" Maupin of Portlandia, your steely, hair-sprayed resolve have served you — and all the fartisans at the firm, excepting the doddering, shoeless chieftain Bertrand Cooper – well! Your keen selling instincts on behalf of Fleischmann's Oleo margarine and Topaz hosiery continue to impress, while your Heinz Beans® efforts in seasons prior remain of particular interest to Yours Truly Dooley™, a “porkened” bean man from back in the day! We oft enjoy beans on toast here at the station house, the toast providing a hearty “stage" for the “bean ballet” commercial you so elegantly proffered — If Memory Swerves™ — to one Teresa Heinz Kerry. A note of caution, however: As delightful as your storyboard appeared, methinks there is potential for confusion between baked kidney beans and Mexican “jumping” beans, the ill-tasting cousin of the bean family. ‘Tis not a “leap” of logic to envision the lowly bean relation “jumping” into the chorus line of beans, an impostor infiltrating the saucy mixture at commercials' end. I have no doubt that you’ll find a way to "dance" around this obstacle — perhaps a reworking of the opera “Porky and Bess”? — as your brains and bodice have never failed you, nor the fashion-challenged blind dates and neighboring dolts who fall into your loving arms. A doff of the pillbox hat to you, Peggy Olson. You put the "ad" in ladybird, online lady friend!