Halt! Hold it right there, Old Navy® blue headbanded insurance industry spokeswoman! I don’t know who put you up to this — or what you hope to gain by it — but I won’t have you flashing your exposures on my watch! Have you no sense of the decorum demanded of an advert mascot? Ask your bare naked self, would Palm Olive® dish soap figurine Madge the Manicurist™ have unbuttoned her smock for the leering eyes of 70's era self-abusers? Would toilet-tissue titan George Whipple have dropped his drawers and exposed his frontal assemblage for the shoppers in aisle number nine? Would the Marlboro Man™ have trotted into the valley in a pair of arse-less chaps? Bloody hell if I know, haha! If they had come of age in a time when everyone and their hoochie mama is compelled to photograph themselves stepping out of the bath, maybe they, too, would've shot the moon, so to speak. That said, young Florence, your assertion that you have "nothing to hide" is an opinion some will take exception to, therefore our web administrator Sheffield has taken the liberty of covering your, shall we say, flesh pupils. After the photo shoot, we suggest you cover yourselfie™ more properly, or at very least, don the white apron and the blue Chuck Taylor® All-Stars so the lads can have a look as you walk out the door.Thursday, April 16
Cover Yourselfie™
Halt! Hold it right there, Old Navy® blue headbanded insurance industry spokeswoman! I don’t know who put you up to this — or what you hope to gain by it — but I won’t have you flashing your exposures on my watch! Have you no sense of the decorum demanded of an advert mascot? Ask your bare naked self, would Palm Olive® dish soap figurine Madge the Manicurist™ have unbuttoned her smock for the leering eyes of 70's era self-abusers? Would toilet-tissue titan George Whipple have dropped his drawers and exposed his frontal assemblage for the shoppers in aisle number nine? Would the Marlboro Man™ have trotted into the valley in a pair of arse-less chaps? Bloody hell if I know, haha! If they had come of age in a time when everyone and their hoochie mama is compelled to photograph themselves stepping out of the bath, maybe they, too, would've shot the moon, so to speak. That said, young Florence, your assertion that you have "nothing to hide" is an opinion some will take exception to, therefore our web administrator Sheffield has taken the liberty of covering your, shall we say, flesh pupils. After the photo shoot, we suggest you cover yourselfie™ more properly, or at very least, don the white apron and the blue Chuck Taylor® All-Stars so the lads can have a look as you walk out the door.