A birthday shout-out to helmsman Geordi LaForge of the USS Enterprise-D, who will be born on this day February 13, 2335. The eyewear-challenged, Jeri-curled futurist will arrive head first in the West African Confederation Village of Gambia to Silva “Cicely” Tyson, a Starfleet command track officer — and future Captain of the USS Hera — and Omoro "Kinte" LaForge, a Mandinka warrior and Starfleet exo-zoologist. LaForge will be born blind, but will be fitted with a VISOR® (Visual Instrument and Sensory Organ Replacement), a curious bit of business worn over the eyes like a pair of bloody BluBlocker® sunglasses. The VISOR will not reproduce normal human vision, but will give the wearer the ability to “see” energy and detect vital signs such as heart rate, temperature and the onset of odorous flatulence, allowing LaForge to monitor moods, detect lies and exit an enclosed space in ample time before offending gasses are expelled. Like his parents, LaForge will attend the Starfleet Academy, but he'll defy his parents demands to study engineering and instead pursue his dream of writing advert copy and getting a Doritos® spot on Super Bowl™ CCCLXVI. His gift for spell-checked wordplay and hackneyed rhyme will impress Captain Patrick “Picard” Stewart, who will assign LaForge to a direct-response copywriting position in the starship's in-house agency. In 2372, LaForge will be transferred to the Sovereign class Starship Enterprise-E, which will travel back in time to the 21st century, where he’ll creative direct a campaign for the Earth's first warp-capable vessel and later open minority ad agency LaForge NYC, servicing Budweiser™, the New York Lottery and the Lenscrafter® eyewear accounts. Bravo, Citizen Sightless of Tomorrow!
